Are You Friends With Bullies?

Emotional abuse happens in friendships too

Photo by Nathalia Segato on Unsplash

When we think of bullying, we often imagine it happening in a schoolyard or online, but the truth is that bullying can occur in any setting, including friendships. Emotional abuse in friendships is a form of bullying often overlooked or dismissed, but it can have severe consequences for the victim's mental health and well-being.

I recently chatted with a friend who opened up about a troubling situation with one of her friendships. She mentioned some hurtful things her "friend" had said to her, and my initial reaction was, "Are you sure this person is really your friend?" My friend looked at me perplexed, almost confused, and asked what made me ask that question, and I shared I was confused about why someone would feel so comfortable belittling, chastising, and being outright cruel toward someone they considered their friend.

It took some time for my friend to realize and understand that the person in her life was being emotionally abusive under the guise of friendliness. Emotional abuse can occur when someone says things in a nice and friendly tone, but their words are actually rude or manipulative. It can be difficult to acknowledge that someone you care for as a friend is emotionally abusive, but paying attention to the signs is important.

What is Emotional Abuse in Friendships?

Emotional abuse in friendships can take many forms and is often characterized by a behavior pattern intended to control, manipulate, or belittle the victim. This can include:

• Constant criticism and put-downs

• Blaming the victim for everything that goes wrong